Carly
by SimplySeddie
Summary: Everyone thought I had it all, and at one point maybe I did. Until they left...Now, I'm merely a shell of my former self. But just when I decide to change that, guess who I run into? *Carly centric - Seddie
1. Movies

Carly

I ran my hand through my dark brown hair, twirling it in between my fingers and nibbling on the ends while watching TV. It was another cold and rainy Saturday afternoon in Seattle. Another day of coffee, writing, and watching every movie of every genre possible. In other words; The Riveting Life of Carlotta Shay. Today, it was 'The First Kiss', an old movie I vaguely remembered watching. All I knew was that I had hated it, even back then, when I was high on the hopes of finding my Prince Charming. The movie was about a petite ginger named Angel, who, through twists and turns throughout her high school years, realizes she's been in love with her best friend James all along. The movie ends with her saying, 'You had me at the first kiss...' I groaned and turned off the television set, wrapping the duvet covers I had dragged out of bed that morning with me. I looked around my cold, dull apartment. The walls were baby blue...the furniture was white, the paint peeling off here and there...The coffee table filled with dust and my refridgerator empty. _What's wrong with you Carly? _I rubbed my face in my hands and sighed. What _was_ wrong with me? I don't think I was depressed. No, only crazy people who have nothing in their lives are depressed! People who don't know what they're doing! But in the back of mind I knew that was me. Because, what _was_ I doing? What_ did_ I have in my life?

In the mirror, I saw a shapeless, skinny woman. She had dark bags under her eyes, and her skin was pale as snow. Her nose red, her cheek bones gaunt, and hollow. And I remembered what I used to see. I used to see a fit, bubbly teenager. Who had bright eyes, and a fair, smooth complection. A spring in her step, and an out look on a new tomorrow. Oh, how I missed those days...The days when Sam- I shook my head and pushed the thought away. Carly Shay was _not_ depressed, I turned away from the mirror, and threw off the covers, heading to my room. I was going out today, no matter how hard it was raining. Maybe a movie, I decided. I wasn't very up to date with new releases, and I couldn't remember the last time I had bought a soda pop and buttered corn at the theaters. The thought of a Peppy Cola while sitting in a familiar red itchy seat with others comforted me, and I smiled as I wrapped a scarf around my neck. Yep, definitely _not_ depressed.

"I'm going out, Fat Cakes!" I grinned as my white toy poodle looked up at the sound of my voice, her ears perking up. Sam and Freddie, they had given her to me as a gift for graduation. That was 7 years ago...

Making sure there was fresh water and food, I grabbed my purse and coat, sighing with satisfactory at the jingle of my keys as they locked my apartment door. I walked out of Garden Mills, and took a deep breath, the chilling air filling my nostrils. I had moved out of Bushwell Plaza about 5 years ago. Spencer had proposed to Sky, a petite mousy brown haired girl with almost as much creativity as Spencer- it was like babysitting twins when they were dating. Well, obviously I couldn't stay, and really, I didn't want to. I felt like I'd be intruding on them. I thought about my old room, and how the purple walls were now light pink with dancing circus animals on the walls...They were expecting a baby; She was due anytime now. The thought of my brothers complete family killed me. Of course I was happy, how could I not be? I've never seen Spencer as excited about anything before in his life, but I had a longing in the back of my head. Maybe I missed the way _I_ was Spencer's world, or maybe I was jealous that he had everything I wanted. Wasn't it supposed to work out the other way?...

I looked up, and found myself at the old Seattle Plaza, the theater the same as before. I gave a small smile, as a greeting, I suppose, and looked up at the digital screen, contemplating on what to see. I heard a voice behind me.

"Excuse me, are you in line?" I turned around to see three kids, maybe around sixteen, looking at me. Two girls, one boy. I just stared.

"Lady, do you know what you wanna watch yet or-"

The other girl elbowed her in the ribs, "Shh, don't be rude!"

I blinked and shook my head, "Sorry, go ahead, I'm still deciding."

They grinned and waltzed to the ticket line, smiling happy go lucky smiles. I rubbed my temple, and suddenly I didn't feel like sitting through a two hour movie anymore. Alas, I was already here wasn't I? A familiar title caught my attention and I couldn't help but giggle. Girly Cow VI: The Return of Boysish Pig. It's ridiculous, it's absurd- it's perfect! I paid for the ticket and mouthed a thank you to the worker, the feeling of happiness once again returning. My emotions came and went constantly, it was annoying, really. When I walked into the theater, I practically skipped to the concession stand, buying a large Peppy Cola and extra buttered popcorn, a hot dog, and nachos. I gladly paid the pimpled boy and gingerly held my purchase, carefully watching my step as I made my way into theater number 8. It was dark inside, the previews reeling for upcoming movies, and I smiled as I slowly made my way up the side aisles, searching for a seat. My head turned, I didn't watch where I was stepping and softly bumped into someone.

"Oh sorry, I"-

And right before my eyes were none other than the two people that used to be my entire world. My best friends. Sam Puckett and Freddie Benson.


	2. Remember

Carly

Chapter 2

Perfect. That was the word that probably best described what went through my mind when I saw them. Perfect in the sense of, "Oh, wow, she's radiant, and he's handsome as ever. They're perfect." and also as, "Fuck, what do I do? What do I _say_. Perfect, just fucking perfect." But, at the time, I just stood there. My eyes felt wide as saucers, and I lightly licked my dry lips as a million emotions surged through my veins. I felt pain, joy, confusion, fear...And just as I was about to speak, about to utter whatever came to my head, something incredible happened.

Freddie, who now towered over Sam (apparently she had stopped growing freshman year of Highschool) cleared his throat, "Excuse me, miss. We're trying to get through."

I found myself closing my gaped mouth in a millisecond, and I shut my eyes tightly. _No...No..._

Sam groaned, "Hun, I know I'm supposed to be 'courteous to others in public places', but I'm gonna have to push this lady if"-

I heard Freddie sigh, "No. Look, we'll walk around. How hard is that?"

I was trembling now, I'm sure. The sound of their footstoops shifted to the other direction, and far off I heard Sam mutter, "That's what she said."

_No...NO. This is'nt happening, this isn't happening. _"NO!" The Peppy-Cola splashed as I dropped the items I was carrying. I kept my eyes shut, and rolled my hands into fists. I felt my nails break through my skin, blood beginning to ooze out of small, crescent shapped moons on my palms. "How could you?" I whispered, someone had stood up next to me, askng what was wrong. I shook my head, "Sam. Freddie. Sam and Freddie, Freddie and Sam!" I bit my lip, salty tears welling up behind my eye lids. I didn't know if they were in the theater or not. For all I knew, they had already left. For all I knew, I was speaking to nobody- scaring children and worrying the minds of people who had simply wanted to enjoy a movie. But I didn't care.

"How...How could you two look me in the eye and not _know_ me." My lip began to quiver, "How could you not REMEMBER?"

The theater had gone silent. The previews were frozen, murmers and hushed tones danced around me. And then, footsteps.

"Oh, but of _course_ you wouldn't remember. Why would you? I was just slowing you down, wasn't I? I was just a waste of time, a waste of space in your happy lives." I found myself speaking loudly, and I couldn't stop myself from the words that poured out my mouth. They've been on the tip of my tongue for over seven years, after all. "'We'll call you everyday, I promise.' Well guess what- you broke your promise. 'Hey Carly, I'll call you tomorrow', 'Hey Shay, maybe next time, ok?' 'Hi, I'm kinda busy right now.'" I scoffed, and the footsteps stopped behind me. "After a year of hearing nothing, I drove across the fucking country just to see you guys. I rang and rang at Sam's apartment, but there was no answer. I went to Freddie's office and you know what they told me? 'I'm sorry, Mr. Benson isn't in right now. Afterall, it _is_ his wedding day.'" I stopped. The memory haunted me, the realization that they neglected to tell her...They had stopped caring.

Everyone was silent, no one was whispering anymore. For a brief moment, I wondered if anyone recognized me. Maybe a childhood acquaintence, or one of Spencer's clients? What if they tell him about this? What if-

"Carly." Someone took hold of my hand, and I heard a slight intake of a breath as they saw the fresh cuts in my palm.

To hear her speak my name triggered it. I opened my eyes and found myself looking into Sam Benson's beautiful face, and I began crying, sobbing into her chest as she took me in her arms, her own tears mxing with mine. I cried as Freddie picked me up, and I cried while I was in what I assumed to be their car, I cried as I heard the engine's roar stop. At that point, everything had gone black.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Not my best work, I'll admit. It's a bit over-the-top, but I feel like Carly needed that closure. She needed to speak aloud about what had been eating away at her. Well, anyways, it's been waaaay too long since I've updated my iCarly stories. I sincerely apologize! I've been taking a break from the iCarly universe, focusing on other things, but I felt I owed some of my neglected stories some attention. Hope you enjoyed! R&R! :)**


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